My Nan passed away in 2004, and since then I have not been able to stop thinking that one of the possibilities she died was because of me. I'm 16 now, and my nan was like my mother. When I was 2, my mom left to go to abroad to help the family with money etc. So my Nan basically took care of me till I was 10 as 10 was the age that my mom took me to live with her in abroad. I made a promise to my nan when I was 10 that I would never ever leave her until she goes to heaven, but I broke that promise because I left her when she was still alive. I left in 2003. Then in 2004 we were in a sudden rush to go back to my home. I didn't know what was happening and all I knew was that my nan was sick. I was on the plane with my mom on the way home and I couldn't sleep or anything (it was a 17hr flight). Only to found out that, when I got there, there was a funeral for my Nan. I bursted out into tears as it was a massive shock. They said that she passed away when I was making my way there or while I was on the plane.
Until now, I still can't help but think that I'm one of the reasons to why she died because I made her a promise which I broke and I feel like if I stayed with her she would have still been alive for a bit longer. They said I was her favourite grandchild and she passed away at the age of 91. My cousin videod her while she was ill as her last moments. I couldn't watch it and only manage to see like a second of it. It hurt so bad. Only one of my cousins know how I really feel, and she said that she was ill and it wasn't my fault. But I feel like it's partly my fault or all my fault. I just can't stop crying about her.
